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RELATIONSHIPS: Crushes and Admiration

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Let me give you a scenario. You see this guy walking down the hallway, all alone at a distance. Your eyes look at him as if he was walking towards you, about to say “Hello” in a voice like Hugh Jackman. Oh look, someone texted him. He stopped his tracks and paused in the hallway. Come on, girl, talk to him. Get his name. Wait, what? You’re anxious? Come on, it’s only one guy. I’m a guy and you’re talking to me so what’s the difference? Talk to him already! Get to know him! Wait, you can’t? How come? What do you mean you’re shy? Oooh, I see now.

His looks attract you, don’t they? And you desire to be beside him, right? You know what this means? You have a crush on that guy. Hey, it happens to the rest of us.

Perhaps you girls had your eye on that baby-faced guy who likes Korean music, or that chubby guy who’s always wearing a jacket. Perhaps you guys had your eye on that girl who looks like an angel with red hair, or a simple girl with several pimples.

Everyone has a crush on at least one person. Admit it; it’s alright to have a crush on someone. It’s perfectly natural. We’re only human; we have the desire to like a certain person in a different way. They are our “beloved”, using a literary term in this sense. But in a way, we want to be loved by our beloved.

But what exactly is a crush anyway? WordWeb dictionary defines “crush” as “temporary love of an adolescent”. Well, not just adolescents actually. Even adults have that but they probably use a different word for it because crush sounds a little immature. Usually, if Friends and How I Met Your Mother are to be believed, adults would say “I’m in love with you.”

My friends would tell me “Uy, Ralph, crush ko siya o!” while pointing to a guy in the distance. Wait a minute. Let’s use syllogism here: You have a crush on this particular guy, a crush is a “temporary love.” Ergo, you love that particular guy. Wait, what? But you personally don’t know the guy you’re pointing to. So how could you have strong feelings for him? You just like him for his looks or some special skill he does, right?

Perhaps “infatuation” can be the appropriate term here. Infatuation is defined by WordWeb as “A foolish and usually extravagant passion, love or admiration.” You admire the guy for his looks, or his skills but you really do not know his personality. My friend Joyce gave me the term “distant admiration” for those who are infatuated with a certain person they do not know.

Now, a crush is just developing feelings for someone. It’s natural; you can’t force yourself to have a crush on someone. That’s not how it works – a crush usually fades away. It’s not like anyone says: “I’ve fallen in ‘crush’ with you,” because a crush is temporary. The not-so-popular website, Tumblr, has mentioned that a crush usually lasts 4 months, beyond that, you’ve fallen in love.

For instance, I have a friend and a classmate of mine. We chat about things, we help each other out, we text each other. I like her personality. But then, for no particular reason, I think about her and how lovely she is no matter how hard I try to stop. She was light-years away from looking like a model but her looks didn’t matter to me.

One downside is that you might not stop thinking about that person. This usually happens to us hopelessly romantic people, no matter what you do, you’ll be thinking about that person more often than you expected. Whenever you hear a song like “A Thousand Miles” or “When You Say Nothing At All”, your mind just can’t stop and you’re now a little ecstatic whenever you imagine that person you like.

The sick desire for togetherness – when you’ve developed feelings for someone, you’d want to be together all the time. I could remember last summer – I had a crush on girl and we spent the last day of our summer classes just walking around UST, talking to each other.

Anyway, what you want is the emotional connection. You want to be with that person you like because you want them to like you back as well.

Well, that actually is alright when the time and the situation between you two are right. Like I said before, a crush is temporary but it doesn’t mean that you can just tell someone you have a crush on them unless you want things to be awkward between you two, especially if you two are friends.

Remember when I said that most adults wouldn’t use “crush” when they have feelings for someone? Well, they would rather use “I think I’m in love with you” or something to that effect. “Love” is a strong word to be used on someone.

So, let’s review, some of the downsides of having a crush and taking it too seriously: uncontrollable thinking, a sick desire for togetherness, and an intense urge to confess. If you can’t handle these side effects, try not to develop your crush too much. Don’t take it too seriously and you’ll be healthy.

 

 By: Raphael De Las Alas

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5 anime films (that is not Kimi No Na wa) to watch before classes start

It’s only a matter of time before the whole world caught up with the impressiveness of Kimi no Na wa (Your Name), and it isn’t without reasons.

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It’s only a matter of time before the whole world caught up with the impressiveness of Kimi no Na wa (Your Name), and it isn’t without reasons.

Dubbed as the next Hayao Miyazaki, the film’s writer and director Makoto Shinkai pulled everyone in a memorable experience which transcended from just being captured by a film itself: it was a journey, and just like every other journeys, it is not just a happy one. Maybe that’s why it drew various emotions as possible, which is perhaps an effective demonstration of a good cinema.  

With its amazing score, tremendous editing, and an overall significance with the theme of human interconnectedness, it is a film that you carry. It is a movie nobody would’ve thought will invite an emotional (-ly wrecking, I may add) ride with the gimmick of body switching being confined in the spaces of hilarity in usual genres. Just like its themes, Kimi no Na wa is a film that will chase you, bearing the longing and affection that grounds us to our own humanity.

Due to its recent buzz, and even talks about being considered for the Academy, it is also imperative to look at it as another addition to Japan’s numerous noteworthy visual masterpieces. From the timeless Studio Ghibli produced films to Hosoda Mamoru’s heartfelt direction that puts weight on the characters for successful  storytelling, the Japanese animation scene has never wavered, only further trailing the path for the future storytellers to expand genres while still underlining the heart of Japanese culture which is a cornerstone of their animation; albeit anime only remains a subculture, it still produces captivating narratives even in the most delicate and simplest themes.

While we all love Miyazaki (Studio Ghibli), there are many notable and relatively underrated animated movies in Japan that are as cinematic and emotional. In this list are featured animations that possess tales that will appeal to different walks of life – and most importantly, to the heart.

  1.      Millennium Actress (2001)

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Satoshi Kon has had remarkable and iconic animated films under his belt; and none has been as massively underappreciated as Millennium Actress which packs a heavy punch and is arguably one of his greatest works. A prime example of Satoshi’s mastery in blurring the lines between reality and fantasy as a social commentary, it chronicles the story of an ageing actress through interwoven storylines and is also Satoshi’s personal love letter to Japanese cinema.

  1.      Mind Game (2004)

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A psychedelic feature that demands attention which almost borders towards exhaustion, it is perhaps one of the most innovative animated movies Japan has ever produced. It narrates the story of an unsuspecting manga artist who was murdered by the Yakuza and thrown in the most hypnotic and kaleidoscopic realms. It is a film drenched in vision and stylistic creative choices that constitute to its polarizing audience. Whether you love it or hate it, its overall bizarre animation cements it as one of the most unforgettable anime films to date.

  1.      Jin-Roh:  The Wolf Brigade (1999)
    Image result for Jin-Roh: The Wolf Brigade

Set in an alternate 1950s Japan in which the country loses to Nazi Germany, this psychological-thriller drama is as grim as it gets, with the heavy Little Red Riding Hood symbolism and the disturbing military force throughout the growing civil unrest, the animation is just as brutal as the story and as much as it is an allegorical film, it is also a heartbreaking character study.

  1.      Into the Forest of Fireflies’ Light (2011)

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There is not much to describe about this stunning and criminally short film other than it breathes love. It recounts a simple story of the powerful friendship between a young girl and a spirit who cannot be touched as it will cause him to disappear forever. Flecks of Japanese culture and the influence of Shintoism are embedded in the film, making it an even more personal introspection that will leave you in tears because of its conclusion. Don’t fret though – this film is anything but tragic. Bittersweet, yes, but its overarching theme of optimism makes it even more laudable.

  1.      Giovanni’s Island (2014)

Image result for Giovanni's island

This historic tale about loss, hope, and survival during the aftermath of World War 2 becomes even more gripping as it is told through the perspectives of children, the ultimate embodiment of hope in a situation where despair and oppression reigned. Comparisons with Grave of the Fireflies are inevitable, but while Grave of the Fireflies tackles on children surviving during the war, Giovanni’s Island deals with the consequences of it and the suffering it brought after. This is a sentimental tale about children bearing the weight of adults’ mistakes, delving in character arcs that also hit close to home.

Collage by Humphrey Litan 

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3 Usual Comments From Your Nosy Tita and Tito During the Holidays

By now, all the delayed Christmas parties and holiday get-togethers have been ticked off the checklist.

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By now, all the delayed Christmas parties and holiday get-togethers have been ticked off the checklist. Thanks to a month-long school break, this might mean more family reunions and nothing beats spending quality time with our loved ones. Here we get to see and reconnect with our distant relatives, cousins, and even strangers whom our parents will tell us, “Uy! Si ninong/ninang *insert name* mo ‘yan. Mag-bless ka, dali.”

While it is all fun and games, it can quickly turn into an awkward situation with just one inappropriate remark from your obnoxious tita or creepy tito. Here are some of the unwanted remarks that we usually get and remember, if we are to respond to it make sure to do it with grace and elegance when they unexpectedly pop into your life again.

  1. “Siguro may boyfriend/ girlfriend ka na, noh? Umamin ka na, I won’t tell your mom.”

1

First, why is it that it’s the eternal job of our god parents to know the latest about our love life? We have all been asked with this very personal question at some point.  They will do the exact opposite of “I won’t tell your mom” five seconds after you tell them the truth, thus immediately putting on spotlight. Nothing beats sharing a dinner with your family while your trustworthy tita endlessly coos “Uy binata na si Jonel.” *Sighs internally*

        Good Reply: “Wala po, study lang po muna ang focus ngayon”

        Bad Reply: “Ay wala pa po sa ngayon. Kayo po? Kamusta na po yung pang apat niyong asawa?”

  1. Ang laki mo na ah!”

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Wait, is it a compliment? Or a low-key dib at my body? Wait, laki horizontally or vertically? Speak your mind people!

Good Reply: If vertically “Eh wala po tumatanda na tayo eh”, if horizontally “Ang mura po kase ng pagkain sa school tapos ang sarap pa po ng luto ni mama”

        Bad Reply: “Ay oo nga po eh. Kayo po mukang pumuputi na po buhok niyo ah. Ay tita wait, varicose ba yan nasa bintin niyo? Tapang po natin mag skirt ah”

  1. Uy! Ang taba mo ngayon ah”

3

There’s no such thing as Euphemism or sugar-coated words to the people (especially, Titas!) that we are going to meet in this family gathering; almost everyone is welcome with comments about their weight loss or weight gain since the last time that they saw each other. This inappropriate remark is probably the most dreaded one every Holiday season.

Good Reply: “Asset ko po yan. Tsaka para may layer of protection yung abs ko. Alam niyo naman, sensitive abs.”

        Definitely Bad Reply: “ANO BANG PROBLEM NIYO? INAANO KAYO NG TABA KO? EH KESYO MASARAP KUMAIN EH. KALA NIYO TIYAN KO LANG DITO SATIN YUNG KITA?”

        Family events during the Holidays can be really stressful at times and for some of us, socializing for a very long time is difficult enough without these unwanted opinion or comments following us like a plague. However, it should not spoil this event that our family members have been waiting the entire year for. An important and smart reminder that I can only suggest you in responding to these remarks, is that don’t let your emotions (or annoyance, perhaps?) cloud your thoughts and reminded to still be respectful at all times.

 

Art by Baron Balaba

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“Kanlungan”: A sanctuary for all

Teatro Tomasino’s 39th season opener, “Kanlungan”, portrays how an unlikely group of people found their personal sanctuaries where they can freely shed their ‘masks’ and act without a fear of repercussion.

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The daily hustle and bustle of life can take a tremendous toll on some of us. There are times when we would prefer to retreat to our  personal sanctuaries than choose to take the world head on. Teatro Tomasino’s 39th season opener, “Kanlungan”, portrays how an unlikely group of people found their personal sanctuaries where they can freely shed their ‘masks’ and act without a fear of repercussion.

“Kanlungan”, directed by Frank Jozsepf Escuadro, is a twin bill that featured Teatro Tomasino alumna Reena Medina’s Gawad Ustetika awarded one act play, “Deadline”, and Dingdong Novenario’s Virgin Labfest piece, “Kafatiran”.

“Deadline” is a narration of how depression jeopardized the lives of three young girls: Fiona, Yana, and Lily. The play starts with the trio meeting at their favorite spot – the rooftop, the only place where they can find respite and solace from the unforgiving eye of society. The rooftop witnessed the turbulent life of the girls and how they managed to cope with their depression. However, the rooftop also symbolizes another form of escape – suicide.

Throughout the play, the girls exemplified their vulnerabilities but by telling too much, the narrative became too predictable. The goal of the story was to explain and make depression a relatable topic by showing that these girls share the same problems that we have. The only major difference is they are a target of scorn and ridicule only because they don’t the necessary strength to overcome their problems. The play seemingly tried too hard by plaguing the scenes with cliche dialogues.

However, “Deadline”  made up for it though its smooth transitions from one scene to another in a non-linear order with tasteful projections of images that symbolized the hope and friendship of the protagonists.

Despite some apparent drawbacks, “Deadline” saved itself by having a creative set that established a stark contrast between the rooftop and the room that in effect, showed how miserable all of the protagonists really are. Moreover, the dialogue might have been wordy but few gems can be taken here and there that exposes the true nature of depression.

“Kafatiran”, on the other hand, is very different from “Deadline”. It’s a humor-laden story set in the Spanish era about a budding sisterhood in the midst of a revolution dominated by men. It opens with two flamboyant revolutionaries, Ka-Obet and Ka-Kiko, setting up their lair as they welcome prospective members. Unlike “Deadline”, the dialogue was the weapon of this play, with witty banters from Ka-Obet and Ka-Kiko keeping the audience interested and clamoring for more.

Perhaps what is fascinating from this play, albeit obvious, is that no one between Ka-Obet and Ka-Kiko admits that they are gay until the final scene even though it’s very apparent to the audience due to their small but highly suggestive actions like mannerisms and diction.

Everything about “Kafatiran” was tasteful and ironically timely because of how it played with gay culture with the way it also featured a mock historical origin of a handful of gay lingos. “Kafatiran” achieved what “Dialogue” aimed for: conviction. What made “Kafatiran” more interesting than “Deadline” is how they portray passion through words, regardless if they’re talking about the gravity of their situation or how the word “keri” came about. All of what the characters said in Kafatiran will be etched to your memories because their words are a strong concoction conviction and wit laced with reality. It is a play that did not rest on the funny but held itself up with its enthralling script that boldly tackled an unspoken issue within the LGBTQ community.

Overall, Kanlungan is a play that made a conscious effort to discuss pressing taboos. “Deadline” had a powerful message that, unfortunately, was lost due to unrestrained vocabulary and predictability but still made up for its direction and work to shed light on the struggles of the depressed . It would have been better if the dialogues were not as sappy and the plot was more interesting. “Kafatiran” outshined its sister because of how well script and the ensemble is. It managed to give a different perspective into a time pre-dominated by male chauvinism and showed that women might have not been the only ones who were underestimated before. Its comedic banter was an effective vessel of introducing a serious issues that is still culturally prevalent because of patriarchal dominion. Teatro Tomasino made a huge leap by introducing issues not often brought up in a conservative society.

We could only hope for a more open-minded and accepting society.

 

Photo by Jazmin Tabuena

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