By Therese Claire Linatoc
There was a time, not so long ago (last year actually), that the ‘Official Gazette’ of the Republic commands respect. They were the go-to source of unadulterated facts about what’s really happening inside the hallowed halls of our government. They’re trusted, revered even. Then everything went downhill fast. From historical revisionism to dubiously represented graph, the Official Gazette became the laughing stock of the whole thinking community.
Out of the ashes of incompetence rose the Superficial Gazette of the Republic of the Philippines. The page was controversial and sensational. It even blurs the line between facts and satire to some special set of people (free-data users).
The Superficial Gazette of the Philippines was created immediately after Official Gazette’s historical revisionism about the life and rule of the late President Ferdinand Marcos. The page quickly gained a huge following, garnering more than 35 thousand page likes after a little over a month of operation.
It challenges the popular beliefs of our society and delivers both scathing and humorous commentary to current events. You would need imagination and a bit of historical know-how to see past through their satire.
Here are just a few of some of their posts:
- Buy your plane tickets now, everyone! Before it’s too late.
The post:
“The Department of Tourism has uncovered the Philippines’ new tourism slogan, made better reflect the ideals and character of the Duterte Administration.”

The Truth:
The Department of Tourism wants to go away with the popular “It’s More Fun in the Philippines” by 2017. Ina Zara-Loyola, Tourism media director, said that the department’s new direction would reflect the change that is currently happening in the country under the leadership of President Rodrigo Duterte. Considering the rise of unverified police killings and Duterte’s childish tirade against major political powers, it’s safe to assume that any foreigner’s first words upon arriving in our country would definitely be “Wow, [insert Duterte’s favorite expletive] naman this country.”
- Nothing can make your day any better than this.
The Post:
“Breaking News: On October 10, 2016, the National Anti-Poverty Commission sent “warm greetings” to Vice President Leni Robredo and Agot Isidro through its social media channels.”

The Truth:
The official National Anti-Poverty Commission (NAPC) Facebook and Twitter account posted a controversial statement which reads, “Ang pagkakapareho ni Agot Isidro at VP Leni Robredo—takot silang magutom”. The post was hinting at the two females’ dislike of President Duterte’s continuing rants against the United States.
- I would actually pay to see that
The Post:
“BREAKING NEWS: President Duterte Says PH “Cannot Win” Panatag Shoal After Jetski Runs Out of Fuel”

The Truth:
Remember that time not so long ago, when all presidential candidates went on a *ehem* debate *ehem*. One fisherman asked then mayor Duterte what he will do, once president, so fishermen like him can once again freely roam part of the sea that is being claimed by China at the time. Keeping with the tradition of giving incoherent bravado-fueled response, Duterte answered that he will brave the waters of Panatag Shoal while riding a jet ski and clutching the Philippine Flag. If that’s not patriotism I don’t know what is.
- Where do I sign up for this program?
The Post:
“Due to to what he perceived as the weakening physical strength of Filiipinos, longest-serving President Ferdinand Marcos ordered the AFP to spread the ‘San Juanico Bridge’ throughout the country, an ‘exercise’ aimed at strengthening the body’s core muscles. The primary beneficiaries of the ‘exercise’ were around 70,000 Filipinos ‘enlisted’ under the government’s ‘Health and Wellness Program.’”

The Truth:
Here’s how the ‘San Juanico Bridge’ torture works: the prisoner was made to lie with his head on one bed and his feet on a second bed, and was beaten and kicked whenever his body sagged or he fell. Imagine the pain as you simultaneously try to endure the beatings whilst straining your core muscles. That’s just one of the numerous “Health and Wellness Program” during Ferdinand Marcos’ regime.
- Sold at bookstores near you!
The Post:
“BREAKING NEWS: President Duterte to Release “Biography”
Communications Secretary Martin Andanar announced at a press briefing at Malacañan Palace that beloved President Rodrigo Duterte will be releasing a biography titled ‘Mein Kampfutangina,’ which is German for ‘My War On Drugs.’”

The Truth:
Adolf Hitler wrote an autobiography title ‘Mein Kampf’ (My Struggle). It outlines his political ideologies and future plans for Germany.
It’s fitting that our lovely president has his own book since he nonchalantly justified the alarming increase in killings by comparing himself to the Führer. ‘Mein Kampfutangina’ comes with a reader’s guide, Yasay edition, Cayetano edition, Abella edition, Andanar edition, Panelo edition, and Uson edition because apparently you can never take Duterte’s words at face value.
Criticism is not some fancy, nefarious tool used by far-left individuals to take down the administration. It’s not fueled by “textbook yellow journalism” or media bias. Criticism is essential to keep the government on its toes. Complacently accepting mediocrity and incompetence in our government is not acceptable because it will affect the current and succeeding generations.
Superficial Gazette of the Republic of the Philippines’ existence and other pages like it highlight an alarming attitude in most Filipinos; their refusal to admit mistakes. Fine, maybe the USA is a huge imperialist opportunist and the UN is just a group of nosy world leaders but blatantly calling them out using profanities then immediately hiding behind lame excuses once things goes south? That doesn’t sound like a commendable leader.
Collage by Geneva Garcia