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Look up

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I was eight years old when we had the last trip to my family’s hometown in Visayas for a family reunion. It was a happy place, especially during the afternoon, when we all gather in the backyard to share stories. Adults drink beer by the porch while the children play in the living room. This year, however, it was different for us; the adults still had their alcohol session while the teenagers decided to sit down and tell each other different stories about our relatives, about our family and about the house.

My grandmother’s dead sister, who owned the house, was someone of so much resentment. When she was still alive, she usually refuse to talk to other people, shutting her door towards everybody. Rumours had even spread that she aborted her child. One night, residents had found her body at the bottom of the grand staircase, her head and body mangled and deformed. Her husband admitted that it was he who did the dreadful act, saying he pushed her off the stairs. However, the husband insisted that he did it to defend himself because his wife tried to kill him first.

The story really frightened us all. We tried to forget it by having fun the rest of the day.

The night fell. The cold breeze touched our skin as we all sleep peacefully, forgetting the negative vibes brought by the scary story. At the middle of the night, my niece had the sudden urge to pee. She begged me to come with her, so I went with her in the bathroom. It was 2:47. My niece was shaking with fright when we reached the stairs and I told her to count the steps to calm her down.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5…
Her voice was shaking so I started counting down with her as we go.

10, 11, 12, 13…
She started to calm down as she starts to sing the numbers.

18, 19, 20…
We started seeing the wooden floors of the living room.

21, 22, 23, 24
We reached the bottom of the stairs and headed towards the bathroom. As we went back to the room, she held my hand. I told her to count again as we walk upstairs.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5…
My niece’s singing voice echoed around the house as she happily stepped on the stairs. The light from my phone was guiding us through our way up.

10, 11, 12, 13…
My niece’s voice grew softer so I started counting along.

14, 15, 16, 17, 18…
The cold air seeps into our clothes, pulling every hair in our body, with our legs seem to go heavier and heavier each step. My niece begins to hold my hand tighter saying she wants to walk faster. I told her it was dangerous because it was dark.

19, 20, 21…
It was too dark and the light coming from my phone was too weak that I only managed to see the last step of the stairs. I told my niece we were almost there.

22, 23, 24
25…
26…
27…
My niece sensed the growing doubt in my voice as I continued to count. Her breathing started to get heavier. However, we continued to walk.

My tired niece asked to stop for a while as she tried to catch her breath. It was so dark. I moved the light below and saw nothing, not even the lower floor. We resumed walking and then we heard a sound like long nails scratching against the wooden surface of the stairs. We stopped to look back only to see nothing. The sound grew closer, my niece and I started to rush up the stairs. I look down and saw movement in the darkness, a figure crawling up the stairs like a spider. The faster we walked, the faster it crawled too. My niece screamed as her heart pounded faster and faster. The sound below rang to my ears. I pushed my legs faster with my niece’s hand in mine. My heart felt like it was ripping itself out my chest.

Looking down in the darkness I saw a face – it was the face of a woman with a bloody crater where the right side of its face once were; her mouth was ajar, her hair covering with what was left of her head and face. I screamed and threw my phone down to her but the figure disappeared.

I heard the door upstairs opened. The chandelier of the staircase lit and we found ourselves at the bottom of the stairs, staring at my phone. My aunt rushed down to carry my pallid niece. My father carried me to the master’s bedroom to sleep with them.

During our last night, with all the bravery that was left in me, I took a flashlight with me as I walked outside the master’s bedroom and into the staircase, determined to prove that what I experienced wasn’t real. I walked down the staircase counting 24 steps, and then walked back, satisfied to see nothing and feel nothing. I took a deep breath and went back to the master’s bedroom. Then I felt a familiar chill. I remember the woman and the sound of her nails and body crawling spiderlike up the stairs. I looked for her, opening the closet, checking under the bed, behind the heavy curtains and looked into the mirror and found no sign of her so I decided to look up…

Photo By Miguel Santos

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Literary

#2K16

What a friggin’ time to be alive. This year.

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By Shicane Reyes

What a friggin’ time to be alive. This year. This whole goddam year equates to—to urinals. Ya’ know those urinals? Ya’ pass by ‘em and you could swear, God was punishing your nasal passages for about a couple o’ seconds there. Know what I’m talkin’ ‘bout? Those urinals that–that hang in corroding iron-clad stalls fixed along the sidewalks of EDSA highways, waiting for the next UBER driver to zip down his fly and whip out his shameless junk on it like he did earlier that same night with a passenger; drawing that drunk college chick’s curtains for a good ol’ half-past midnight pounding. But, man– guess that’s just a’ight, ya’ know? It’s goddam a’ight so long as the victim’s lack of self-guard justifies the friggin’ offender’s lack of moral compass. Whatabuncho’ steaming-hot pile of bullcrap.

 

Be a pal and hand me the lighter, will ‘ya? Saw your tweet the other day. ‘Twas that shallow political stance followed by a goddam “hilarious” Harambe meme. Friggin’ pretentious. Ain’t nothin’ more than a Mocha Uson blog. No offense.

 

Man, I feel like a sissy smokin’ Lights. Why d’you “millennials” try to play villain in this disappointment you call a society? Ya’ share a video on social media ‘bout the disasters currently occurring in Aleppo to “raise awareness”, and what? Ya’ have your “outfit-of-the-day” photo taken, ya’ post ’em on social media and ya’ talk about how “on point” or “lit” it is. Now tell me: Which post got more “likes”? Just makes you another brick in the system you try to be a fault in, ya’ know? So, who’s your mason? Kylie Jenner? It’s like y’all get blessings from your “idols” sacrificing one heart per post on Instagram. Stroking your gorilla glass touch-screens all day as if our opposable thumbs owe their joints and tendons to these smartphones. These devices developed by tycoons or—or tyrants. Goddam tyrants running their companies, their factories, their—their dystopias. How can you stomach the idea of subjecting hundreds of thousands to an eight to twelve hour labor for one man to make billions? Is it ‘cause of some cute Snapchat filter you get on your iPhone 7? Or a little more than that, maybe? Look at you. Goddam phone’s more human than you robots, for chrissakes.

 

I’m headin’ back home in a few. I’m not stayin’ out to sit through the fireworks. Sick of ‘em. Had ‘nuff of ‘em all year ‘round. Our police force’s been having their own “New Year celebration”, lighting up their lead firecrackers on suspected “drug pushers”. But have we any right to whine about this? We act like we do but we don’t. Our President didn’t win ‘cause he chose to put his butt on the seat. We, the people, elected him over three other idiots and the late Senator. God bless her soul. Ya’ thought his jokes were funny, he said he’d play “shoot ‘em up” in our country, y’all thought that was cool and said “Ya’ know what, I think that’s what’s best for The Philippines. What an audacious yet brave man. I’m voting for him.” So y’all friggin’ did. Now we have a megalomaniac sleeping with heroes. ‘Least most of America knew they’re screwed before that blond moron took over. Here’s to another goddam year to masquerade our intimacy for this world.
You can have the last stick. Mom’s pretty keen on the stench of stale cigarettes. Plus, I’m cuttin’ it down to at least a couple o’ sticks a day.  

Art by Tim Castillo

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Literary

Langib

Ngunit ang hindi ko makalimutan
ay ang latay sa aking katawan
nang ako ay nahuli sa ilalim ng
sinag ng buwan

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“Natakot ba kayo, pa?”
tanong ko kay itay
sa tuwing kanyang ikukwento
ang kanyang kabataan.

Alam ko na ang takbo ng kwento—
hihinga siya ng malalim
sabay titingin sa kawalan,
ang kanyang kamay ay gagalaw
patungo sa kanyang braso.

“Madilim ang mga araw noon, anak,
may mga bagay na hindi ko magawa.
Mga alaala na sana’y naglaho
sa paglipas ng panahon, ngunit
hanggang ngayo’y nanginginig ako
kapag naaalala ko ang mga nag-iikot na
sundalo sa labas ng aming bahay.

Dinakip nila si itay at siya’y nakulong
sa dahilang hindi namin malaman.
Naalala ko ang aking mga sulat
na kailanma’y hindi nailathala
kaya akin na lamang itinago
sa alaala.

Ngunit ang hindi ko makalimutan
ay ang latay sa aking katawan
nang ako ay nahuli sa ilalim ng
sinag ng buwan.”

At sa pagwakas ng kwento ni itay,
siya ay nakatingin pa rin sa kawalan
habang kinakamot sa kanyang braso
ang isang peklat na hindi pa rin
naglalaho.

 

Dibuho ni Roland Joshua Distor

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Literary

I Would Love For You To Hear

I’m certain that a love this warm exists for you are my proof;
It is the kind I have always felt, resplendent when it is shone.

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Your skin has been withered by the clocks that run
but your eyes are brimming with wisdom and care.
Silver as the clouds when they block the sun
is what has become of that crown, your hair.

As your memory, like a fine piece of literature,
and your voice is the sound of a turning page;
Timeless, like the tales of your adventure
with old photographs of you when you were my age.

There is an indescribable comfort with your presence around
for your hand is a hand that I look forward to hold.
When you wait for me to arrive safe and sound,
It is one of those times when I see your heart of gold.

I’m certain that a love this warm exists for you are my proof;
It is the kind I have always felt, resplendent when it is shone.
A house is merely a structure with four walls and a roof;
But in it, there is you—and you are my home.

 

Art by Roland Joshua Distor

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